


Hitting Aces

by pointyshades



Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, it's the pinball backstory guys, no archive warnings for violence but there is some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22194709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pointyshades/pseuds/pointyshades
Summary: Kim finally spills the story of his undercover pinball operation to Harry. It is, unfortunately, not very disco. But Harry is here to listen.
Relationships: Harry Du Bois/Kim Kitsuragi
Comments: 60
Kudos: 128





	1. Ace's High

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys i'm in love with kim kitsuragi and here's one take on how i think the whole kimball thing could have gone  
> definitely stole some ideas from people on the de discord, so let me know if you helped me!! i love you all  
> sorry for the angst, i apparently can't write anything without it...  
> enjoy!!

REVACHOL. ’46.

KIM KITSURAGI –

It is morning in the Greater Revachol Industrial Harbor.

The light through the single windowpane is flat, grey, and distant. Kim can tell at a glance that it will rain today – the clouds collect in a pattern over the staggering husks of buildings. Probably light snow in the evening, too, although by then this should all be over.

What a fatalistic way to think about it. That it will all be over. Kim rolls out of bed, stands, and tugs the covers back into place. He is doing a job, after all, not going to meet a revolutionary firing squad. When the day is done, the day will simply be done.

He dresses and writes his morning notes. His plan for the day is outlined in quick, black strokes on white paper. Breakfast, as he works, is a piece of toast with jam, and a cup of strong coffee. The coffee is good, and he savors it longer than he should, looking out the window, wanting a cigarette.

With a glance at the clock on the dresser, he decides it is time to leave. No reason to postpone. Kim slips his notebook into his pocket and walks out the door.

It’s hard, when he catches glimpses of himself in puddles and unbroken glass windows, not to flinch in confusion from the figure he sees staring back. Kim Kitsuragi, Patrol Officer of the Revachol Citizen’s Militia, is not known for his wild fashion choices. Kim Kitsuragi, thirty-eight years of age, is also not known for keeping up with youth trends.

Unfortunately, when duty calls…

He tries to avoid being aware of the swish of thin, sportswear fabric as he walks, and the weight of a ragged jacket on his shoulders, not to mention the gel that keeps his hair so stiff it might break in a strong wind. He pointedly doesn’t look at his reflection. Not that it’s too hard – even through his glasses, the world is a blurry mess. His vision has been bad all his life, but he’s suspected it of getting worse lately. It’s a problem for another time, though – as long as he can see well enough to play _pinball_ (and here he can’t suppress an annoyed breath) his superiors won’t care.

The pants are uncomfortable, though – 

\---

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Easy: Success] – Wait. What *exactly* is Kim wearing here?

YOU – Shh, let him talk! You bugged him and bugged him to get this story, and he’s finally opening up. You’re not going to ruin it now.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] – Interrupt him.

YOU – It wouldn’t be respectful…

CONCEPTUALIZATION – Harry. You HAVE to know what he was wearing.

YOU – “Kim, wait.”

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant stops mid-sentence. He’s been gazing off into the middle distance while speaking, but now he looks directly at you, his brow furrowing.

KIM KITSURAGI – “What’s the matter, detective?”

VOLITION – Now. Ask him.

YOU – “I need you to back up. To the part where you described having to go undercover.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Yes?”

YOU – Oh no. It’s that eyebrow. It’s beginning to creep up.

AUTHORITY [Challenging: Success] – You won't be dominated by Kim's eyebrow again. Fight it, Harry! Ask the question!

RHETORIC [Challenging: Failure] – You’re suave, Harry, you can convince him to spill the beans. It is *essential* that you know how ridiculous Kim looked!

YOU – “Do you uh…what did you…do you remember when you told me off for my ‘unprofessional style?’”

KIM KITSURAGI – “I recall, yes.” 

YOU – “And was what *you* were wearing in this case…similar? To that?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “I don’t see why it’s relevant…”

YOU – “Kim. Please.” You've interrupted his story for this because you *need* to know. You widen your eyes and fold your hands together in an attempt to look sincere. In actuality, it just looks creepy.

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant sighs. Deeply. It may, in fact, be one of the deepest sighs you’ve heard him give. It is a sigh that has been building, in some part of him, for five years.

KIM KITSURAGI – “It was a tracksuit, Harry. A terrible, ragged tracksuit with mesh on the top and so much hair gel I could’ve choked on it. And string bracelets. And those awful shoes with the magnets in them.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “The jacket said ‘DONT FUK WITH ACE’ on the back. Spelled exactly like that.” He sighs again.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Easy: Failure] – That sounds extremely cool.

YOU – “That sounds extremely cool, though.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “For the juvenile delinquents I was trying to blend in with, maybe. Remember that I was thirty-eight years old at the time. It was humiliating.”

CONCEPTUALIZATION – Imagine Kim wearing that now. Would it look stupid, or kind of badass, in an older-man-dressing-like-a-younger-man kind of way?

LOGIC [Easy: Success] – That’s not a thing.

KIM KTISURAGI - "And despite all that, it was still nothing like your sense of fashion. You're truly in a league of your own."

LOGIC [Medium: Failure] - You're not sure if that's a compliment or not. You decide to take it as one.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Do you want me to continue? Or are we finished with this exercise?”

YOU – “No, no, I want to hear the rest. I really do.”

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant assesses you for a moment. Behind him, the sky is beginning to fade from grey to black. After you nagged him all of today, he finally agreed to tell you about his days as an undercover agent in a pinball ring, maybe just to shut you up, maybe because he half-believed your suggestions that it would “improve your camaraderie”. So you’ve been sitting on a bench in what passes for a park in Martinaise, the one usually occupied by Gaston and Rene, except that it’s too cold and too late for them now. Kim is holding a cigarette between two fingers, but hasn’t lit it yet. You imagine he’s waiting to finish speaking so that he can enjoy it in peace.

YOU – Let him continue. He has a story to tell…

\---

The inside of what used to be a Frittte warehouse, and which is now the home of the most prolific pinball ring in the GRIH, is an unpleasant place to spend a morning. It’s grey, it’s smoky, and it’s somehow colder than outside. Plus, it is filled with an infernal racket: the ringing and chattering of pinball machines.

As Kim steps inside, he slouches into what is by now a familiar posture. It is the sleazy, casual posture of one familiar with the ins and outs of a drug trafficking ring. Someone who’s sampled the substances to be had here, but who isn’t lost to them quite yet. Someone who still has quick hands and an eye for mischief. Someone, in other words, who could win a pinball championship. The character has become part of him over the past few months.

Kim pauses for a moment to survey the scene. There are dozens of pinball machines lined up within the warehouse, more than there were just a few days ago – but of course that makes sense, the ring has been preparing for this competition for months. Almost as many months as he has, Kim admits wryly to himself, remembering nights spent alone in the station with that godawful pinball machine. Peasants of Revachol, it was called, and he hopes to never see its bubble text and flashing lights again.

In front of almost every pinball machine stands a hopeful gang member, their fingers flashing on the sides of the apparatus. They’re practicing. The winner of the championship will receive what Kim has heard described as “a whole shitload of speed”. Of course, upon appearance of the drug, he will finally be able to signal his fellow officers to come in and make arrests. Until now, the ring has been frustratingly subtle in their transactions, not allowing more than one member to be implicated at a time. Winning the championship – and asking for the prize to be presented immediately, while all gang members are present – is the only way.

He stretches his fingers. One knuckle pops.

“It’s fucken Ace!” A meaty hand slaps Kim on the back, so hard he has to work at keeping his casual posture without falling on his face. A smile tugs at his mouth, and it’s not fully an act, either. Fortunately, the first person to spot him is the one kid he can bear to be around in this place.

“Hey, Ratter. What’s up?”

The kid smiles, all teeth (the reason for his name) and sincerity (the reason Kim likes him). He’s probably in his early twenties, and one of the newest members of the gang, besides Kim himself. Kim has done his best to keep Ratter out of the drugs here, and although the kid’s gone on plenty of delivery runs, Kim doesn’t think he’s gone too deep. Maybe, if all goes smoothly, Kim can redirect a life here. The rest of the ring will probably languish under the legal system for quite some time, but although he knows its unprofessional, Kim feels somewhat like Ratter is his pet project. A redeemable life.

The kid’s been rattling on for a minute now, stuff Kim should have been paying attention to. Pulling his mind back to the task at hand, he slouches further and tosses Ratter a sideways grin.

“So, who’s gonna win?”

Ratter grins back and socks him on the arm. “You are, idiot! I’ve seen you playing those fucken machines like a champ! Crazy with those blind-ass eyes you got on you, but something in your heart is attuned, man. To the machine.”

Kim doesn’t think anything in his heart is attuned to pinball, except maybe a deep vein of annoyance.

“You gotta watch out, though, there’s some dicks playen dirty here. Don’t want a shank in your side or a tab in your drink, huh?”

“I’ll watch out,” Kim promises.

As if fulfilling Ratter’s prophecy, a scuffle breaks out at the center of the room. A punk dressed in all black, with violently red hair, grinds another player’s face against the console of a machine. The machine is screaming, in bright lights, about victory and points. The kid is screaming, in high pitches, about his broken nose.

 _Shouldn’t have played so well_ , Kim thinks. _Standing out while practicing is a prime way to make yourself a target._

For this reason, Kim doesn’t plan to practice this morning at all. He’ll win or lose on the pinball skills he has acquired over the last nine months. That should be enough. It has to be…

\---

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] – If he couldn’t see the machine, it seems odd that Kim would be so good at pinball.

YOU – “Listen, Kim, I hate to interrupt again…”

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – Kim looks at you. He is not at all surprised that you felt the need to interrupt again. With you, he feels like it is never a question of if, but when...

YOU – “How did you get so good at pinball? If you couldn’t, you know…” You gesture at your face.

KIM KITSURAGI – He raises an eyebrow. “What?”

EMPATHY – He’s going to make you say it.

RHETORIC [Challenging: Failure] – You can dance around this without being offensive. There’s no need to imply that he’s handicapped or incompetent.

YOU – “I mean, how do you play pinball if you can’t see shit?”

RHETORIC – Nailed it.

EMPATHY – He’s not offended, per se, but he is disappointed.

KIM KITSURAGI – “I’m not sure exactly. I certainly wish I didn’t have a penchant for it. It would have saved me a lot of grief.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He pauses, looks at the cigarette in his hand.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] – For god’s sake, just smoke it! It’s not an art exhibit!

KIM KITSURAGI – “But then I suppose someone else would have had to do it.” He flips the cigarette end over end. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was taunting you with it. “I guess it’s kind of like how I shoot. I can't see well, but I hit the target. Usually.”

YOU – “What a random talent to have, huh?”

KIM KITSURAGI – His mouth quirks up. “I’m not sure it's a talent so much as a painstakingly learned skill. I spent hundreds of hours playing pinball, you know.”

YOU – That’s…a lot of pinball.

YOU – “I guess that much time spent with anything would make you hate it, huh?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Well, that’s not the only reason why.”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Finally, fucking finally, he lights the cigarette.

KIM KITSURAGI – “It’s getting cold. Let me finish so we can go inside.”

\---

The tournament itself is grueling, not only because of the skill of all those involved, but also because the flashing lights and squinting at the machines combine to give Kim a headache. Nonetheless, he wins three rounds in a row, and gets a bye on the fourth. The next round will be the finals. The tournament is dragging on longer than expected, and Kim’s beginning to worry about the RCM’s arrival time. At this rate, they’ll get here during the final round instead of at the end, and Kim knows the other officers in the 57th don’t have a lot of patience. He’s been setting this up for so long; he doesn’t want it to end poorly.

“This is a fucken lot,” Ratter says, arms crossed, a short length of chain dangling from one ear. He lost in the first round, which Kim is grateful for. Ratter is a decent kid, despite what he’s involved with, but Kim doesn’t want to know what he’d do with three pounds of raw speed. Not to mention the pyrholidon one of the ringleaders said he’d toss in.

Kim nods, slumped in a plastic chair. The thing is sticking into his back, and the gel on his head that isn’t frozen is starting to run down his neck.

“It’s fucked,” he says, “But I gotta ask. You think anyone’s gonna go after me in the finals?”

“Mmh,” says Ratter, considering. He picks at something under his nails. “Fuckup might, he’s on a hot streak and I’ve seen him puking. He needs a hit, bad.”

Kim’s eyes track across the room until he finds the blurry figure with purple hair that he knows is Fuckup, one of the less charismatic ringleaders.

“Got it,” he nods. “Anyone else?”

“Eh, the girls have enough in their own stashes,” says Ratter, gesturing to another pair of players, locked in battle on side-by-side machines. “If it’s one of em, they’ll leave you alone.”

“Good,” says Kim.

“What’ll you do with the prize?” asks Ratter. Something glints in his eyes.

“Sell it, I bet. Need the cash,” Kim shrugs. A moment passes.

“Hey, Ace?” says Ratter.

“Yeah?”

“You’re good to be around, man. Fucken…some a these shits just wanna see you scared. See you running jobs for em not cause it’s good to run, but cause you don’t want em mad. But you…you’re alright.”

Kim opens his mouth to respond, and then all hell breaks loose.

He learns later that it’s a clerical error, the delay in the tournament, and a misplaced sentry that cause the RCM’s early, messy entry onto the scene. One of Kim’s contacts, months ago, recorded an incorrect radio frequency for the big day. As a result, they have been unable to contact him for precious long minutes, during which they have been waiting outside, expecting a signal at any minute, wondering if their undercover officer is compromised or dead. The tournament's delay means that Kim hasn’t fired his own signal yet, something they might have picked up despite the incorrect frequency, since they are monitoring all channels by now. The misplaced sentry happens upon an RCM officer by leaving his post when he shouldn’t, and although he is subdued, the officers know his disappearance will alert the other sentries shortly. The squad decides that they have to go in, and they have to go now.

But Kim learns all this later. In the moment, he knows only that the wall behind him explodes.

Chaos seizes the building. Within moments, every pinball player has pulled out a hidden weapon. Half of them are on the ground. Kim smells smoke, but scrambles to his feet.

Behind him, the RCM. Before him, Ratter also jumps up. He is bleeding from a long cut on his forehead, and his eyes are full of rage. In his hands is his own weapon, one Kim didn't notice he had.

“Ratter, stop!” Kim shouts, drawing his weapon.

Ratter’s eyes flicker between Kim and the approaching RCM. Shots and yelling ring out in the enclosed space, dust still clearing from the air.

“What the fuck, Ace?” Ratter bellows.

“Drop the weapon!” Kim hesitates, then points his gun at Ratter. “Drop it!”

“A fucken narc? You were a fucken pissant narc all along? You piece of shit, Ace!” Ratter spits, and the muzzle of his gun swings to Kim, then slightly past. 

_He’s going to shoot someone behind me,_ Kim realizes, and in that split second, he makes a decision. He aims for Ratter’s shoulder and fires.

There is a sharp rapport, a spurt of blood, and Ratter hits the ground.

A hand on Kim’s shoulder. “Thanks!” shouts an officer over the sounds of more firing, but Kim doesn’t look at her. His glasses are covered in flecks of dust, but he can see Ratter’s still form on the cement floor.

“Fucking missed,” says Kim, scrambling over the rubble to the boy. “Fucking missed,” and he was right, of course, with his first glance. Despite the grit on his glasses and his unreliable eyes, he was right when he saw Ratter go down, that the blood was at his neck, not his shoulder.

Kim falls next to Ratter. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but whatever it is, he’s too late. He touches one hand to the kid’s neck and it is hot with blood, but unmoving. There is no pulse.

He drops his gun and looks at it, there on the cement next to the pool of blood and the almost-had-a-life-outside-of-this kid. _What an officer, huh? Couldn’t see well enough not to shoot to kill._

It seems like he blinks and then it is over, the ringleaders arrested. The ring will fold in their absence. Days later, an officer wryly tells Kim that he had the highest score in the pinball tournament before it ended.

“So you won, huh? And the ring got tied up. It all paid off, Kimball.”

“Don’t call me that,” says Kim.

\---

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant blows smoke into the night air. It’s fully dark now, and only a dim street light illuminates him. His glasses shine like closed windows.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – He’s back in that room with the dead kid and his gun.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] – Somewhere there is another cop killing someone they don’t mean to. Maybe it is because they can’t see, or because they aren’t paying attention. They are guilty, Harry, or sad. If they’re rotten inside, they shrug those feelings off like rain, but if they’re anything like Kim, the pain sinks deep inside of them, and nests.

COMPOSURE [Impossible: Failure] – Fuck, Harry, there’s no way you can keep it together after that.

VOLITION [Impossible: Success] – But you have to say something. Kim isn’t going to.

EMPATHY – Look at him smoking. He’s trying so hard not to crack. His composure is stronger than yours, and he’ll keep this pain inside if you let him.

YOU – “Kim…”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Yes?” His voice is clear and does not shake. Not like yours.

YOU – “Are you okay?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “It was a long time ago. I don’t think about It much anymore.”

DRAMA [Medium: Success] – He’s lying, sire.

YOU – “I know that’s not true, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He turns half towards you, surprised.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] – He expected you to let him lie. That you wouldn’t want to take more emotional burdens onto yourself, when you’re such a mess already. He regrets putting this on you.

YOU – “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m here for you, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He takes another drag on the cigarette. When he speaks, his voice is softer than before.

KIM KITSURAGI – “He was very young. It’s hard not to think about.”

EMPATHY – He feels like it was his fault. Tell him it wasn’t, Harry. Maybe you can do some good.

YOU – “It’s not your fault, you know. You fired the shot, and something fucked up happened. It happens to all of us. But there was a lot happening, and it wasn't all on you. You can’t blame yourself forever.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “That remains to be seen.” There is irony in his voice.

YOU – You take a deep breath and lean forward. 

YOU - “You’re the best damn cop I know, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Thanks, Harry.” He gives you a quick smile, although his heart's not in it.

YOU – “That's why you don't deserve to feel like this. And I'm sorry it happened. But...I appreciate you telling me.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He nods and blows a plume of smoke. It hovers around his head for a moment, lit by the street lamp. A glowing circle of breath.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Failed] – Clinch the deal, convince him he’s a good person!

YOU – “Plus…I bet you looked really fucking cool in those pinball clothes.”

VOLITION [Trivial: Failure] – That’s not it! Abort!

YOU – “Because you…are always very cool…”

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] – He’s smiling, though. Your buffoonery helped.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Okay-okay, Harry.” He takes one last drag and stubs the cigarette out. “Let’s go inside. It’s freezing out here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> by AmeKinoko  
>   
> by Celentinia
> 
> thank you both so much for the amazing art of undercover kim!


	2. Havoc Slug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A motor carriage is discovered. Kim's story continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so...not sure how long this fic is gonna be but it's absolutely gonna be slow burn harry/kim with a heavy side of Kim's Past so! here we go! let's go on this journey together!  
> also this is slightly au in that kim is already calling harry by his name when they find the wreck but i like it that way so let's just say evrart calling harry by his name reminds him of it earlier on  
> anyway enjoy!

YOU – You know, it is a lovely day. The clouds are scudding by, the wind caresses your cheek, and it’s not even below freezing, which is unusual for early morning Martinaise. If you’re being honest, there’s only one problem with this day, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the weather. Kim has been...quiet. And yes, he's always quiet, but this is different. Usually his is a focused presence, an intentional listening, a quiet that gathers and assimilates information from the world around. Today Kim follows you like an empty shadow.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He's thinking about what he told you yesterday.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Of course he is. It was an incredibly traumatic event.

COMPOSURE [Easy: Failure] - An incredibly traumatic event from his past which he has now spilled to you, a verifiably crazy person. Oh god, Harry, you can't handle other people's troubles, your own have you by the throat! You should probably start freaking out.

YOU - Your feet skid on the sea ice; wrapped up in your thoughts, you haven't been paying attention to your footing, and the Jamrock Shuffle isn't a very cautious style of movement. For a moment you're sure your face is about to hit the ground with a red, meaty smear - and then a firm, gloved hand on your arm steadies you.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Easy: Failure] - You continue to flail for at least ten seconds even though you're no longer in danger of falling. The ice is just so damn slippery. You look like an idiot.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Are you alright?"

PAIN THRESHOLD [Trivial: Success] - You twisted your ankle a little, but you'll live.

DRAMA [Easy: Success] - Sire, if you play it up, he'll have to take pity on you and forgive your foolish clumsiness.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - He knows that your ankle is fine. You didn't even fall on it.

YOU - "Twisted my ankle a little, but I'll live. Wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I guess."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Running on ice can be dangerous. You should be more careful." It's probably the longest he's spoken to you all day. He lets go of your arm and steps back, face inscrutable.

YOU - "I will, sorry."

YOU - The two of you move on, slowing to a walk this time. The water lock was fixed last night, revealing to you a new side of Martinaise; you already thought the rest of the town was dismal, but now it's positively desolate. There's nothing out here but the ice and the sea. You and Kim move through the open landscape like two specks, one trailing the other. The silence between you is broken only by the screeching of gulls.

YOU - You never thought before about how you seem to need constant noise and attention. Running around Martinaise, solving crimes, looking for missing people - it keeps you busy. Keeps you out of your own thoughts. When you're left to sit inside your own head...well, that's pretty much what happens at night, and you can't say you've been getting much sleep. Normally you'd bother Kim about it - make some asinine observation, ask his opinion on a theory, or do something stupid guaranteed to produce a response. But now it feels like the connection between the two of you has thinned, and you're abruptly worried about annoying him. He doesn't deserve any more on his plate.

PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - Up ahead, a twisted hunk of blue and grey metal sprouts from the sea ice like a monstrous tree.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Challenging: Success] - It looks like a motor carriage veered off of solid ground and went nose-first into the ice. The impact was too powerful for the ice to withstand, and so it has broken through, the front four feet of the vehicle submerged in freezing water. However, the ocean must be shallow here, because the body of the motor carriage didn't follow.

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - The ocean lapping just above the doors of the carriage is a prime example of nature reclaiming the works of mankind. Beautiful and melancholy. The same will happen to you, when your body finally breaks down and decomposes, the earth and sea rising up to claim you and drag you into the pale.

PERCEPTION - Kim hasn't seen the crash yet. He seems to be staring down at his boots, picking his way carefully over the slick ground.

YOU - Should you say something? Maybe it would be better not to disturb his silence.

LOGIC - You idiot, this is an official investigation. What are you going to do, not point any evidence out to Kim until he spots it for himself? Could you *be* any less efficient?

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Stop whining and talk to the man.

YOU - "Kim?"

REACTION SPEED [Formidable: Success] - He flinches. Ever so slightly, but you see it. He was completely absorbed in his thoughts before you spoke to him.

KIM KITSURAGI - He looks up, the bright sunlight making him narrow his eyes. "Yes?"

YOU - "There's a crashed motor carriage up there."

KIM KITSURAGI - "What?" He puts a hand up and adjusts his glasses. "Oh, I see. Well, we'd better take a closer look, then."

CRASHED MOTOR CARRIAGE - The scene would be funny if it wasn't so worrying. The carriage, half-submerged, tilts at a precarious angle. When you and Kim first approach, you fear finding bodies or blood, some sign that the driver was terribly injured or killed. But strangely, neither of those things is present - there is some debris on the ice, and the motor carriage is banged up to hell, but there are no signs of human injury. As it is, it just looks like a large, ungainly sculpture. A commentary on the danger of motor carriages, maybe.

SHIVERS - Or the transitivity of human life.

REACTION SPEED [Formidable: Success] - Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Kim look quickly at you as the two of you approach the wreck.

PERCEPTION - The vehicle is too submerged to get into right now. If you want to explore the inside, you'll have to wait for the tide to go out.

YOU - You say as much to Kim, who shoots you another unreadable look before nodding. The two of you take seats on a nearby swing set, which creaks ominously under your weight but holds.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant doesn't sit on the swing regularly, but rather perches on it sideways. It's endearing, the way he tucks his feet beneath the seat, one gloved hand resting on the chain to balance himself.

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Success] - The swing set makes tiny squeaking noises as you rock back and forth.

SUGGESTION [Trivial: Success] - This is *awkward as hell*. You have to say something.

YOU - "So, uh..."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hm?"

DRAMA [Impossible: Failure] - There is nothing you can say that won't be weird. Throw yourself upon his mercy, sire. Beg for forgiveness!

YOU - "I AM A TRASH ANIMAL AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED YOU ABOUT YOUR PAST."

KIM KITSURAGI - His brows pull together in confusion.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He wasn't expecting that at all. What are you doing?!

KIM KITSURAGI - "Um...are you alright?"

SAVOIR FAIRE [Godly: Success] - Quick, a smooth recovery!

YOU - You take a deep breath, gulping down the feelings of panic that are abruptly threatening to submerge you. Why are you so scared, anyway? What are you scared of?

EMPATHY - You're afraid he'll leave you, Harry.

YOU - Oh.

YOU - Well.

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim is still looking at you, waiting for a response.

YOU - File this revelation away for later. For now, act natural.

YOU - "Sorry. Not sure why that came over me."

KIM KITSURAGI - He nods. "It was quite surprising. Something on your mind?"

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - He is allowing you to recover your composure, as befitting an officer of the RCM.

YOU - "Yeah, actually. I wanted to ask: Kim, are you okay?"

KIM KITSURAGI - A blink. "Yes, I'm fine."

YOU - "It seems like you've been distant all day. Which I understand, I mean - there has to be a lot on your mind. Especially after what I brought up yesterday."

KIM KITSURAGI - He pauses. The swing creaks gently.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I suppose you're right. I haven't been paying as much attention as I should be. I'm sorry, Harry."

PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] - Wait, this isn't what you wanted. Kim shouldn't have to apologize for anything. *You're* the one who was trying to say you're sorry! And look at him - he sits silhouetted against the sky, a circle of white cloud around his head against the blue. For a moment, he looks so *sad*, Harry. It breaks your heart. And you're the one who caused it.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I haven't thought about that case in a long time. I thought you deserved to hear it, because...I trust you."

PAIN THRESHOLD - He *trusts* you.

KIM KITSURAGI - "But I apologize for any distraction that has arisen from it." He sits up straighter, folding his hands firmly in his lap. "I will put it behind me and do better. This case deserves my full focus."

YOU - "Kim, I wasn't...it's not your fault."

KIM KITSURAGI - He shakes his head. "It was unprofessional of me. It won't happen again."

VOLITION [Challenging: Failure] - You let the conversation lapse into silence.

CRASHED MOTOR CARRIAGE - The water is beginning to recede, revealing new layers of peeling paint. The motor carriage looks like it wasn't well-kept, even before this accident. Its rear-view mirrors are pitted with salt, and rust curls around its rear hubcaps where they stick out of the water, shamefully thrust into the sky by the extreme angle of the carriage. The ocean must be cold.

KIM KITSURAGI - After some time, Kim starts to whistle, a high, lilting tune that breaks through the quiet roaring of the ocean. His lips are pursed, his head tilted back, his eyes half-closed.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Trivial: Success] - He looks like a painting.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Trivial: Success] - No, not a painting. An elegant figure, alive and breathing in clean lines.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - There's something *else* here, Harry...

PAIN THRESHOLD - But don't think about it now. You're not ready. How about we return to a different subject, one you're more familiar with? Your mistakes, Harry, we're thinking about your mistakes.

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - Like asking Kim about his past. Too late to shut that door now, but you can keep prying. You're greedy for any information you can get about him, aren't you?

YOU - "Was it bad, afterward? At the precinct?"

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant finishes the stanza he's whistling. The song trails off on the wind, a beautiful echo.

KIM KITSURAGI - Then he considers your question, and makes a face somewhere between wry and melancholy.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Career-wise, no. They finally promoted me."

\--

He sits in the small office, tugging at the collar of his RCM jacket despite himself - it sits heavy on his shoulders after so many months of thin, undercover sportswear. He had to comb his hair for long minutes this morning to make sure it wasn't spiky, reminiscent of his stint as Ace, pinball ring member and drug dealer. Now Kim stares at the wooden desk across from him and wonders what is coming.

He's filled out the official paperwork, made the reports, turned in his gun for temporary impoundment. He fully expects the hand of the law to fall upon him now. It's hard for him to imagine what comes next - he's been imagining _Kim Kitsuragi, RCM Detective,_ on a nameplate for so long that he's not sure what he'll do once the possibility is finally out of his grasp. And yes, the dream has grown farther and farther away during his many years in the juvenile patrol officer position, but he has never lost sight of it, not entirely. Not until now, when it seems to be sinking under a blurry mess of blood and bullets.

The door swings open, and Chief Rossier walks in.

Kim stands quickly, clasping his hands behind his back, and gives Rossier a respectful nod. He feels all at once like a new cop fresh on the job, like it's day one and he's been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"You can sit, officer," says Rossier, and Kim sinks back into his uncomfortable seat, his weak knees suddenly grateful for the respite.

"So," says the chief, "How is Kim 'Pinball' Kitsuragi doing these days?" He grins, toothy and wide.

"Khm," says Kim, his first word getting stuck in his throat. "I'm fine, Chief."

"I understand you're in here because of an unfortunate mishap during the last operation you participated in?"

"Yes, sir. I, uh. There was an accident with my firearm." Kim clasps his hands more tightly together, as if pressing himself back into shape. "I shot and killed a member of the ring."

Rossier regards him with half-lidded eyes. The man has slicked-back blonde hair and a square, hard jaw. When perplexed, he runs a hand over that clean-shaven jaw as if searching for imperfections. He does so now, the blocky fingers matching perfectly with the rest of his square body. Rossier is a weapon, a force of justice. Kim feels like a twig in front of him, about to be snapped in half and thrown out of the RCM's front doors.

"So?" says Rossier after a long pause.

Kim blinks.

"So?" he repeats, unable to prevent an expression of mild confusion. "What do you mean, Chief?"

"So what? The boy was a criminal. Unfortunate, of course, his death, but nothing that could have been helped." Rossier waves a hand. "Some of the other officers would be happy to have another kill to mark off. Don't worry about it, Kitsuragi. You'll get used to it in time."

"Used to it, sir?"

Rossier stands and slides open a drawer of the desk. From inside he produces Kim's gun, and a new ID with Kim's face on it, which he slides across the table. The slick card stands out against the dark wood.

"What's this?" asks Kim, leaning forward.

"You're getting a promotion, _Detective_ Kitsuragi. We need men like you on the force, ones able to make quick decisions and prevent loss of RCM life. And anyway," Rossier adds with a glint in his eye, "I think you're getting a bit old for the juvenile delinquent rap, don't you?"

Kim stands and picks up the ID. It is small, and rectangular, and it glows like phosphorous in the weak light. It is everything he has wanted for most of his life.

"The ring's all wrapped up, as I'm sure you heard," says Rossier, leaning back in his chair. "It was a job well done."

"Thank you," says Kim.

"Your undercover moniker, of course - Ace, was it? That's over with. Your cover's blown, even if there was more work to be done in the area. But people aren't going to forget this case any time soon." Rossier points a finger gun at him, fires, and pretends to blow off the smoke. "Kimball, right? That one'll stick with ya, trust me on that."

Kim looks down at his own unsmiling face printed on thick plastic. "Right," he says.

"You're free to go, detective."

Kim pockets the ID, picks up his gun, and leaves the office without looking back.

\--

YOU - Ouch. Did this story get *sadder*?

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - Though he tries to hide it, you can feel the melancholy emanating off of Kim as he sits on the swing. He's struggling with this, and he was probably struggling with it even before you asked. It's just been brought to the surface now.

DRAMA [Easy: Success] - The wound is old, and it needs healing, sire. You are just the knight for the job.

YOU - Reach out and touch his shoulder.

KIM KITSURAGI - He looks up.

EMPATHY [Godly: Failure] - Surprised? Comforted? Annoyed? Kim Kitsuragi has an impossible poker face.

YOU - "You didn't feel like you deserved the promotion, did you." It's not a question. It's a statement.

KIM KITSURAGI - He exhales. "Of course not. I'd killed someone. I was expecting to be fired."

YOU - "So you felt guilty about it."

KIM KITSURAGI - He raises an eyebrow, just a bit. "Are you psychoanalyzing me, detective?"

COMPOSURE [Trivial: Failure] - The implication is, *you of all people*? The great *Harry du Bois*, of terrible repute and terrific blackout episodes, is going to presume to offer support to such a model of composure as Kim Kitsuragi? *Really*?

YOU - "Uh, no."

VOLITION [Medium: Failure] - Annnd there you go, backing down again. Great job.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Your hand is still on his shoulder though. The thought sends a buzz down your spine. Reflect on that one later, Harry!

YOU - "I could never psychoanalyze you. You're *ridiculously* well put-together. Kim, you make me feel like a slug that just crawled out of the ocean to wreak havoc."

KIM KITSURAGI - He squints at you.

YOU - "Uh, in a good way."

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Success] - The eyebrow. It rises.

YOU - You retract your hand. "Anyway. The tide should be out soon, right? We can take a closer look at the motor carriage, figure out whose it is. Or was."

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - There it is again, that sideways look!

SHIVERS [Trivial: Success] - Suddenly, a pit in your stomach.

YOU - "What?"

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim grimaces, an uncharacteristically expressive motion for him.

YOU - ...

CRASHED MOTOR CARRIAGE - ...

YOU - Have a terrible, terrible revelation.


	3. Speedfreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a ride in the Kineema, Harry. At maximum velocity.

YOU - If you are good at anything, it is focusing on yourself. You are the center of your own world, Harry, a perpetually spinning, disintegrating disco ball. Your rancid light blinds the people around you, and you are a black hole, drawing their attention to you and you alone.

YOU - In other words, you just screamed at your crashed motor carriage, screamed at yourself, cracked open and chugged a Pilsner on the ice, and then crumpled back onto the swings to sob. No one ever said you were good at taking bad news. Or if they did, they hadn’t met the newest version of you: Harry Du Bois 2.0, memory and emotional control both balled up and thrown out the nearest convenient window.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant remained sitting on his swing throughout your outburst, except for jumping to his feet when you ripped your bag open in search of booze (was he going to stop you? worried you were looking for a more lethal poison?). When you pulled out the beer, his shoulders sagged and he sat back down.

KIM KITSURAGI - Now, as your sobs begin to fade at last, he leans forward and takes one of your hands in his own.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - Your heart skips a beat.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I know I said I don't like talking about emotions on the job, but...this seems extreme. Are you alright?"

YOU - No. Everything is bad and awful and you've fucked it all up. It will never be alright again.

VOLITION [Godly: Success] - DON'T SAY THAT YOU IDIOT.

YOU - Somehow, with an inhuman force of effort, you manage to choke back the words that rise in your throat like black bile. Or maybe that's just the Pilsner.

YOU - "Hghkh."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Try again, that wasn't a word."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - His words may sound stern, but his voice is gentle. He's being nice to you. He's *consoling*.

KIM KITSURAGI - Your hand lies palm up between Kim's two gloves. His fingers are half-closed over yours.

KIM KITSURAGI - He is looking directly at you, calm and steady.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - The alcohol feels good in your veins. It soothes you almost as much as Kim's presence does. It also lowers your inhibitions, Harry, if you *know* what I *mean*.

YOU - But I don't know what you mean.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - The man's *right there*. He's *holding your hand*.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Easy: Success] - And you're covered in tears and snot, so please don't do anything both of you will regret.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - How about saying something, huh? You've been sitting in miserable silence for far too many seconds now. Go on, convince him you're fine.

YOU - You clear your throat. "I'm okay now."

EMPATHY - With tremendous restraint, Kim manages not to raise an eyebrow.

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - Out of the corner of your eye, the Coupris '40 formerly belonging to you stays silent. You're sure it's gloating.

SHIVERS [Easy: Success] - Even if you are the center of your own universe, the sun does not rotate around you, and evening is approaching. Across Martinaise, yellow lights are coming on and Revacholieres are heading inside to escape the encroaching cold. On a certain corner, a girl named Annette closes a bookshop door with a jingle of bells.

YOU – “Really, I’ll keep it together. I promise.”

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes-yes, well, if you ever need to talk about it...let me know."

EMPATHY - He says it with a certain reluctance; this is not something he usually does.

You - Nod and say nothing.

KIM KITSURAGI - He stands, the swing squeaking as he does. "For now, we'd better be getting back - it's colder than usual this evening."

KIM KITSURAGI - His hands are folded behind his back, his posture ramrod-straight as always, but is that a slight shiver as his breath plumes into the air?

YOU - "You're always cold, Kim, why is that?"

KIM KITSURAGI - He raises an eyebrow and brings his gloved hands in front of him to rub them together. "Maybe you're just kept warm by the alcohol in your blood."

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He says it wearily, with a degree of resignation.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - Police work is difficult, alright? No one can blame you for taking a load off every once in a while.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Trivial: Success] - Yes, Harry, but you chugged a beer while standing twenty feet from the police vehicle that you crashed while drunk driving. Surely the irony occurs even to *you*.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Opt for something noncommittal. Kim has a point.

YOU - You grimace. "Yeah, maybe."

KIM KITSURAGI - He nods.

EMPATHY - He at least appreciates that you're not denying it.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Anyway, let's head out."

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Success] - The frozen ground crunches under your feet as the two of you jog back toward the Whirling-in-Rags. Overhead, sea birds cry out in a darkening sky. You pass the dimming hulk of your motor carriage again and manage not to shed a tear this time. Like Kim said, you won't be able to do anything about it until at least June, so you're just going to have to get used to its presence for as long as you're in Martinaise.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Easy: Success] - And how long will that be? How long before you leave everything you know here and head back to Jamrock, that colossal question mark of your past?

YOU - When you solve the case, you'll leave Martinaise. That's just how it has to be.

PAIN THRESHOLD - And Kim?

YOU - He'll go back to his district too.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Formidable: Failure] – The thought causes a twinge in your chest.

PERCEPTION - As the two of you round the last corner before the Whirling-in-Rags, you see an unexpected sight: another motor carriage parked in front of the decaying building. The two of you instinctively slow to a walk, perplexed.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Challenging: Success] - An old, beat-up racing vehicle. It's one of the LUM's 'Fevre' series, but it has undergone so many modifications that you can't be sure of the exact model. Not as sporty and certainly not as well-maintained as Kim's Coupris Kineema, but a respectable motor carriage nonetheless.

YOU - "Hey, is that one of the 'Fevre' series?"

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant nods, but it's clear most of his attention is on the vehicle. "It certainly is. I wonder what its owner is doing here."

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - His tone is even, but there is a distinct note of interest.

YOU - You don't have to wait long to learn the answer. A man and a woman step out of the Whirling-in-Rags, the woman's head turned back over her shoulder, shouting the end of a sentence that you didn't hear the start of.

FEVRE DRIVER - " - shitty establishment, fucker!"

SAVOIR FAIRE [Easy: Failure] - Ah, profanity-laden language. This is a woman of *culture*.

YOU - "Maybe I should start swearing every other word. It would give me more clout."

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant gives you a sidelong glance. "Don't you think you're unprofessional enough?"

FEVRE DRIVER - The woman gives the bench beside the door a vicious kick. Her boot thuds into the wood with a splintering sound.

LOGIC [Formidable: Success] - Steel-toed boots?

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Trivial: Success] - If only you were that strong.

FEVRE DRIVER - "This piece of shit, doesn't he know we *own* him? Hardie boys in there think this town is theirs? We’ll come back and show *them*.”

BACKSEAT WORRIER - The man next to her nods glumly. "I know, but it’s not really our territory. Not a surprise that - "

FEVRE DRIVER - "I am *not* surprised. I am *angry*. I have been *robbed*. We were sent here to do a job and if we can't even get lodging, I swear to god."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Sounds like they had an altercation with the cafeteria manager."

FEVRE DRIVER - The woman and her companion are walking past the Kineema when they spot you and the lieutenant standing just on the other side of it. The woman scowls, then grins. The grin looks angrier than the scowl.

FEVRE DRIVER – “Well, what do we have here?”

PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] – The pattern on her vest is not polka dot, as you originally thought, but dozens of tiny, hand-stitched skulls. She is wearing driving gloves and a cap pulled down low over her eyes.

YOU – Look at the man.

PERCEPTION - Down one sleeve of his jacket, it says FUCKUP in bold white paint.

LOGIC [Formidable: Success] – The iconography, the souped-up and heavily modified motor carriage…These people are members of the SKULLS.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] – The SKULLS are a rough-and-tumble gang interested in three things: drugs, violence, and fast living. They steal motor carriages and modify them to have illegal street races, and people who get in their way…don’t usually come out of it unscathed.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] – Beside you, Kim has stiffened. You’re sure he’s come to the same conclusion as you. But his eyes also hesitate on the man’s sleeve, registering the word painted there.

LOGIC – Fuckup was the nom-de-criminalité of one of the leaders of the pinball ring Kim infiltrated. Sure, this guy doesn’t have purple hair, and Fuckup does seem like it could be a common gang moniker, but…could it be the same person?

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] – Kim is wondering the same thing, and he’s very nervous about it.

FEVRE DRIVER – “Hey Fuckup, aren’t these the guys our new recruits were telling us about?”

FUCKUP – “The pigs who didn’t wanna give their carriage to the cause? Stole the jackets off the backs of the fresh talent? Sure, I remember them.” He grins, all teeth. You notice that he is missing quite a few.

YOU – You glance at Kim, who is as taut as a wire.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – He isn’t going to take charge here. You have to make the first move.

RHETORIC [Medium: Failure] – These seem like reasonable folk. Just have a chat and all your problems will go away!

DRAMA [Medium: Success] – Courtesy is key, sire!

YOU – “We mean no harm, madame and sir.” You sketch a quick bow, as befitting such a magnanimous statement.

FEVRE DRIVER – “The fuck?” She looks bemused. “You a cop or an old-time revolutionary?”

FUCKUP – Her companion is staring at Kim, brow furrowed. “Hey, you look damn familiar.”

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] – It *is* the same guy.

COMPOSURE [Challenging: Failure] – Oh, fuck.

KIM KITSURAGI – “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice is steady, but you can read the tension in his posture.

FUCKUP – Fuckup points, his eyes lighting up. “Yes! I know that fucken voice!”

KIM KITSURAGI – “I’m sure I don’t – “

FUCKUP – “ACE, YOU SON OF A BITCH.”

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Failure] – His anger surprises you; it is sudden and vicious. In a second the man shifts from a jocular stance to one that looks ready to pounce, his eyes burning with furious flame. His gaze is locked on Kim.

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant is clearly weighing his options. After a moment, he shrugs and his shoulders fall somewhat. He drops his hands loosely to his sides and puts on a sleazy half-smile. In seconds, he is a different character – no longer an upstanding member of the RCM but some rat-like drug-runner, someone you would move quickly to avoid in a dark alley.

DRAMA – Now *this* is acting.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Sure, you got me, Fuckup. What’s the matter?”

YOU – There is an edge of menace in his voice that you’ve never heard before. It’s threatening and low.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] – This makes you feel something, Harry.

HALF-LIGHT [Medium: Failure] – Probably fear! You should exit this situation as soon as physically possible!

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] – And leave Kim to face these thugs? No *way*.

FUCKUP – “You really fucked us over, Ace. I spent three years in the slammer ‘cause of you, ya know that? Wasn’t any fun. Almost got my block knocked off in a riot. *Did* get most of my teeth knocked out.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Interesting. I would’ve thought a ringleader in a widespread drug smuggling ring would do more time than that.”

FUCKUP – “You don’t know the justice system as well as you think you do, pig.”

FEVRE DRIVER – “Yeah, pig.” She pulls a baton out of one of her belt loops and extends it with a threatening *snap*.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] – Things sound like they’re going to get ugly here in a second. Do something!

VISUAL CALCULUS [Formidable: Success] – The woman has a nightstick and steel-toed boots, but Fuckup looks like the kind of guy to carry a knife. If you can get him out of the fight before anything else pops off, everyone might walk away from this with their skin and blood intact. Rushing him before he can draw a weapon is your best bet.

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant’s hand is hovering near the zipper of his bomber jacket, ready to dart inside and draw his gun.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] – He doesn’t keep it loaded. You know this, but he’s hoping *they* don’t. Maybe he can scare them off.

EMPATHY – It won’t work. There’s pure rage in Fuckup’s eyes.

VOLITION – It’s now or never.

YOU – You grit your teeth and charge at Fuckup.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Legendary: Failure] – It’s been a long time since you were in a fight, Harry, and swinging a right cross at a boy in a backyard doesn’t count. Your body is slow to respond and telegraphs your every move. Before you can even take your second step, Fuckup’s fist is out of his pocket, and it’s only pure luck for you that it doesn’t have a knife in it. Although you see the punch coming, you aren’t fast enough to stop it.

ENDURANCE [Godly: Failure] – There is an explosion of sparks behind your eyes.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Impossible: Failure] – And a burst of pain on the right side of your skull.

ENDURANCE – You can’t keep your feet under this onslaught, Harry, you just can’t.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – You hit the pavement shoulder-first.

PAIN THRESHOLD – More pain, sure to leave a bruise tomorrow, but you don’t think anything’s broken.

ENDURANCE – Your head, on the other hand, is throbbing like a struck gong. You better stay down.

PERCEPTION – The street is cast in shadow-light. The sky is gunmetal grey, and your vision swims, making everything seem like it happens in slow motion and yet all at once.

YOU – You hear Kim say your name once, sharply, and then Fuckup grunts something profane.

FUCKUP – “******* kill you, *****!”

YOU – The rushing in your ears swallows half his words, but the gist of it is that he wants to split Kim’s skull open on the pavement, next to yours.

KIM KITSURAGI – Kim ducks the first punch. Fuckup swings wide and bellows, his rage overflowing. There’s a brief opening where it looks like Kim could retaliate, but then the woman steps in, her nightstick flashing down. Kim blocks it with one arm, but the impact is loud, and you see pain flash across his face.

KIM KITSURAGI – He doesn’t let it stop him, though. His return punch is hard enough to knock the Fevre’s driver back a couple of feet, and as she staggers, he turns back to Fuckup, dodging another swipe and kicking him sharply in the knee. Fuckup’s leg buckles, and he has to catch himself against the Kineema’s wheel.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Trivial: Success] – Holy hell, Kim is *good* at *fighting*.

FUCKUP – “FUCKEN SHIT.”

FEVRE DRIVER – “Fuckup, beat his ass already!” She straightens up, rubbing her jaw.

KIM KITSURAGI – Kim shakes out the arm hit by her club, then steps back, drawing his gun and pointing it at Fuckup where he half-kneels on the ground.

KIM KITSURAGI – “I wouldn’t try it if I was you.”

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] – If he’d pulled this earlier, they wouldn’t have believed him. Now, though, they’re doubtful. Fuckup stands, but he’s leaning heavily on his left leg. He grits his teeth.

FUCKUP – “Alright, Ace, I see you still throw a mean fucken punch. But you’re not getten outta this for free.”

HALF-LIGHT – Run, Harry, he’s looking straight at you with those mean eyes!

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – Yeah, no can do. If you try to run right now, you’re going to vomit.

FUCKUP – He hauls you to your feet. You try to struggle, but nausea overpowers you and sets the world spinning again. Fuckup gives you a once-over, then laughs. “You got anything good, pig? Your badge, how about that? Not gonna get far without it.”

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Trivial: Success] – Considering you just found your ID earlier today after having lost it for the better part of a week, this situation is deeply and miserably ironic.

PERCEPTION – While Fuckup and his partner were distracted by the flailing of your sagging, heavy body, Kim took out a paper cartridge and tamped it swiftly into the nose of his gun. Quick thinking, and successful, too. Now the gun is actually loaded.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Let him go. I won’t tell you again.”

EMPATHY – He’s *scared*, Harry.

FUCKUP – “Nice try, Ace. You’re not gonna hit me through your partner’s body, huh? And there’s no way your blind ass is aiming past him.” He sneers.

EMPATHY – That one landed, and both you and Fuckup know it. You feel Fuckup’s confidence resurge, even as Kim cocks the gun.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] – But even as he says it, you know it’s a risk *he’s* not willing to take. 7 out of 10 isn’t a bad score for a detective’s firing exam, but it *is* bad odds for not shooting your partner in the back of the head. And considering what happened with Ratter…you know he’s not going to take the shot.

FUCKUP – Fuckup tears the front of your blazer open and finds your ID in an inner pocket. For an instant you see disbelief flicker across his face as he compares the photo on the ID to your alcohol-ravaged complexion.

FUCKUP – “This supposed to be you, pig? You’re kidding yourself.”

COMPOSURE [Legendary: Failure] – Yeah, there’s no good comeback here.

YOU – “Oh yeah?? Well, you’re dumb!”

COMPOSURE – Good one.

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant advances a step, still pointing his gun, but the Fevre driver makes a menacing gesture with her nightstick. Kim’s eyes flicker between you and her – he wants to turn the gun on her, you can tell, but he fears for your safety if he stops threatening Fuckup. There’s no knowing if he cares for this woman at all.

FUCKUP – “Enjoy your narc life, Ace. You too, idiot pig. I’ll keep this as a trophy, huh?”

FUCKUP – He shoves you roughly at Kim, who lowers the gun just in time to catch you before both of you would have fallen to the ground. Instead you stagger back a few feet, Kim’s strong arms supporting you as you try to get your balance.

PERCEPTION – Fuckup and his driver run for their car. As they run, the driver turns back and sticks out a tongue at you. The gesture is incredibly infuriating.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Are you alright?” There is a frantic note in his voice as he leans you up against the Kineema and starts inspecting the wound on your head. “You’re bleeding heavily. Do you know what year it is?”

YOU – “I’m not sure this is an accurate test, considering I only learned what year it is four days ago.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He gives you a relieved smile. “Okay, Harry. Humor me anyway?”

YOU – “It is the year two hundred and three.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “What?”

YOU – “I’m kidding. It’s ’51.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He relaxes but doesn’t step away from you. You realize for the first time how close he is to you, how his hands rest on your shoulders, the smooth plane of his chest not so far from your own. Without thinking, you move your own hands up to his arms, feeling the softness of his jacket contrast against the hard muscle underneath.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Khm. Well. I’m glad you’re okay. It looked like…a bad blow.”

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – He was actually worried about you. When was the last time someone worried about you, Harry?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] – Have you put together the pieces yet? Do your pounding heart, sweaty palms, and burning face mean anything? Are the symptoms adding up to the disease?

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Success] – The roar of an engine tears through the space between you. The Fevre, despite several stops and starts, is beginning to cough to life.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Oh, come *on*.

KIM KITSURAGI – Kim steps back, your hands falling from his arms. He shoves one of his sleeves back up where it has fallen, and you notice an already-blossoming bruise on his forearm from the nightstick. His hair sticks out in all directions. You want desperately to reach out and smooth it down. Or maybe muss it further, you’re not sure.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – HARRY. I’M BEGGING YOU.

KIM KITSURAGI – Despite his disheveled state, as Kim turns to you, you see a smile starting to form on his face. It’s very different from the fake sleazy smile he put on earlier, and also different from the flashes of humor he has given you throughout your investigation.

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] – He looks *excited*.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Are you feeling alright to stand on your own, detective?”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] – Yes, but not run. For the love of god do not run anywhere. Your head is spinning like the inside of a washing machine.

YOU – You shove yourself away from the Kineema and manage not to fall. It is perhaps the most difficult thing you can remember doing.

YOU – “I can stand. It’s not so bad.”

PAIN THRESHOLD [Challenging: Failure] – It’s pretty bad.

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant is already halfway into the front seat of the Kineema as the Fevre’s engine finally catches and holds, a throaty roar filling the air. Kim jerks a thumb at the Kineema’s back door – there’s only one front seat.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Get in.”

YOU – You get in as Kim closes his door and starts the engine in one smooth motion. The radio jumps to life, the slamming beat drilling into your already bursting head.

SPEEDFREAKS FM – “ARE YOU R-R-READY FOR THE FREAKIEST MIX OF YOUR D-D-DAMN LIFE?”

PAIN THRESHOLD [Godly: Failure] – You are not ready for that. You are not ready for anything. You need to lie down.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] – Why did you get into this motor carriage? Why is Kim not turning the radio off? You thought he was pretending he didn’t listen to this station.

KIM KITSURAGI – Kim doesn’t seem concerned with the radio at all. Now grinning like a madman, he jerks the gearshift into position, braces one hand against the steering wheel, and revs the engine. The Fevre picks up speed, about to pass you and head for escape.

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] – There is a pit in your stomach. You have a bad feeling about what comes next.

YOU - “Kim, what are you doing?”

KIM KITSURAGI – He shoots you a glance that makes you think of fire and hot asphalt, burning rubber and sharp teeth. The lights from the Whirling turn the window behind him into a glowing backdrop and glint off the rims of his glasses, turning black frames into liquid gold.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Buckle up, detective. We’re going to get your ID back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the person who made the "buckle up, detective" fanart of kim and harry in the kineema - i saw it, and i loved it, and i couldn't get the phrase out of my head.  
> to everyone else: thank you for reading!!  
>   
> an amazing speedfreak kim by Celentinia!  
> and [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LINCHValZF0) is an incredible animation by Pale-ale of kim's fight against fuckup and the driver!!


	4. The Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOGIC [Easy: Success] – Harry, you’re tearing along in an unstable motor carriage, injured and in pain, afraid of losing your life at any moment, and you’re thinking about *making Kim laugh*?

REVACHOL.

’47.

KIM KITSURAGI –

Just a few dozen meters ahead, the red taillights of a Coupris Nouveaux bounce up and down on the pitted streets of the Greater Revachol Industrial Harbor. The whine of the Nouveaux’s engine is harsh and irritating as it burrows into Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi’s ears. The purr of his own Kineema, in comparison, sounds like sweet music. This is the first chase he’s been on in his newly requisitioned police vehicle, and it handles like a dream.

The Nouveaux takes a right turn, wheels squealing on the pavement. Kim twists the steering wheel hard, and the Kineema follows, drifting around the curve to gain a couple of yards on its prey.

In the backseat, there is a muffled thump. Kim’s partner slams his hand into the ceiling in a feeble attempt to brace himself.

“Can you be at least a _little_ careful?” Dominic Vardonne shouts, his voice cracking on the last word.

Kim feels himself grin. In their partnership so far, Kim has been the uptight and cautious one. Meanwhile Dominic – or Eyes, as the rest of the precinct has started calling him, a derogatory reference to how he sometimes has to explain visual details to Kim – plays the wild card. But driving? Driving is when Kim can cut loose.

“You’re going to kill us!” Dominic shouts, and Kim judges that only about eighty percent of the fear in his voice is exaggerated. His smile widens.

“Hold on, lieutenant, you’ll be fine,” he says, and guns it.

\--

YOU – “KIM YOU ARE GOING TO KILL US.”

ENDURANCE [Legendary: Failure] – If this keeps up, he is really, truly going to kill you. Everything is going at 100 kilometers an hour and the world is spinning. Your brain feels like a great squishy mass of meat in your skull and you’re pretty sure the alcohol in your stomach isn’t going to stay there much longer.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Failure] – And your head, oh your *head*, it can’t take much more of this. Either Fuckup has a ridiculously good punch, or your bones are as weak as eggshell; you feel like your grey matter is going to escape its ivory home any second now. Especially with the (surely infinite) G-forces Kim keeps exerting on your body with his sharp turns.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Challenging: Failure] – And the road! Or should we say the lack thereof? Martinaise is *not* a place built for a high-speed motor chase – there are barely a couple of streets through the town, and surely you’ve looped through both of them at least once already. You’re lucky that it’s late, or Kim would have hit a pedestrian by now, and that would have brought all of this to a very unfortunate end.

ENDURANCE – But oh, at least it would be at an end…

YOU – “I SWEAR IF YOU TAKE ANOTHER SHARP TURN I AM GOING TO IMPLODE AND DIE.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He laughs – actually *laughs*, loud enough that you can hear it over the thumping beat on the radio. You have *never* heard Kim Kitsuragi laugh. Especially not like this, wild and free and full of a vicious joy. If you weren’t so busy trying not to throw up, you might cry at how wonderful it is.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Trivial: Success] – You can imagine a world where you make him laugh like that. Your words, your actions, *you* - not because you’ve done something stupid, or don’t remember important information, but because he cares about you. Maybe it’s a shared in-joke. Maybe you’re just happy to be spending time together. But you want nothing more than to put this smile back on his face, as much and as often as possible.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] – Harry, you’re tearing along in an unstable motor carriage, injured and in pain, afraid of losing your life at any moment, and you’re thinking about *making Kim laugh*?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] – The signs are all *there*. Physical, mental, emotional.

EMPATHY [Impossible: Success] – You’re in love, Harrier Du Bois.

YOU – “What?”

KIM KITSURAGI – Kim whips the Kineema around another corner. “Did you say something, Harry?”

YOU – “No. No, I didn’t say anything.”

EMPATHY – The knowledge floods you all at once, like it often does: as if something has been percolating in the back of your mind and now, all at once, overflows. Suddenly tiny moments from the last week spring into your mind in stark detail and with new meaning. Words, glances, touches. You’ve found the solution – it all adds up.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Look at how you crave his attention. You’re watching his hands on the wheel, imagining him gripping you like that, holding you close. Thinking about his eyes burning with this passion when he looks at you. About kissing him, Harry, kissing him *hard* -

EMPATHY – And holding him close, telling him everything will be okay. That he doesn’t have to be invincible anymore, he doesn’t have to pick up all your problems, you’ll be better for him. You’ll free him of his guilt and convince him he doesn’t have to feel bad about Ratter anymore – you’ll do anything for him, Harry, even die for him.

YOU – So is this love? Am I in love with Kim Kitsuragi?

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] – NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS REVELATION.

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] – The road is speaking to you, Harry, and it is only taking you bad places!

PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] – All at once, you realize where you are.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – Your voice dries up in your throat.

YOU – You force the words out against an overwhelming tide of dread: “Please tell me we’re not about to jump the canal.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “No choice, they’re driving right for it. We have to follow.”

YOU – His back is to you, but you’d swear he’s grinning.

YOU – “Have you not learned from my mistakes???”

PERCEPTION – The water lock is approaching at an alarming rate.

KIM KITSURAGI – “You made this jump inebriated – I think I can do it sober.”

YOU – “Kim - ”

INLAND EMPIRE – And then you are in flight. Lifted by the wind, pressed down upon by the sky, water roiling beneath you as if reaching up a hand.

INLAND EMPIRE – It all whispers to you, Harry, in different tones. The wind says, *go on*. The sky says, *look around*. The waves are silent and waiting, simply there to receive you when you are ready. Even the thump of Speedfreaks FM seems to recede, becoming a slow and gentle heartbeat, the lifeblood of the universe pulsing in your ears.

INLAND EMPIRE – The moment stretches before you, the Kineema floating through the air. You have all the time in the world.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - From the backseat you can see Kim’s hands where they grip the steering wheel, and his bare forearms, and the line of his back – all of him dedicated, in elation, to the Kineema and the chase.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - It's dark outside, but the moonlight reflects off the water and the metal body of the Kineema, and it seems to wrap around Kim in an otherworldly cradle.

INLAND EMPIRE - The starlight swallows him; you don't know if he is being shielded or stolen from you, the way so many beautiful things are stolen from you. But he is bright, so bright that it hurts to look. And you look anyway, the light entering your pupils and draining down through your body like medicine, like healing elixir, like something *right*.

INLAND EMPIRE - This is the one. Don't fuck it up this time, Harry.

HALF-LIGHT [Impossible: Failure] – And then you feel your stomach drop and realize that you are hanging in midair in a motor carriage.

YOU – You scream all the way down.

\--

Kim ducks low over the steering wheel, bracing himself for impact. He’s braking hard, but the rear end of the Nouveaux is still coming up too fast.

“Watch out!” he shouts to Dominic, who mutters a curse and ducks down behind the Kineema’s single front seat.

With a shrieking of brakes and squealing of rubber, they skid almost to a halt, and then they hit the other motor carriage.

At the moment of impact, Kim closes his eyes, so when he opens them again he is momentarily confused. Above him is a swath of grey sky, not the steering wheel and dashboard of the Kineema. _Have I been thrown out?_ he wonders. Carefully, he begins to move his limbs, and once he finds that they are all operational he sits up.

His head spins slightly as he does so, but Kim determines himself sturdy enough, and stands without too much difficulty. Before him, the Kineema is flush against the half-crumpled Nouveaux. The street continues for a few dozen more yards before ending in a stone wall – the obstacle that caused the Nouveaux to make such a sudden stop.

Kim turns and sees Dominic at last, who has the suspect pressed against the wall and is snapping handcuffs on him.

“Lieutenant,” calls Kim, and Dominic half-turns, giving him a nod.

“Got him, clearly,” says Dominic. He pulls the suspect off the wall and starts walking him over to the Kineema.

“Good arrest,” says Kim. “What happened at the end there?”

“You hit your head on the steering column and passed out,” says Dominic. “I took you out of the Kineema in case it was going to explode, but it actually looks fine. Sturdy vehicle.”

“I picked it myself,” says Kim. “I expected it to be sturdy.”

He thinks of when he filled out the vehicle requisition form – _No one will notice that I put down the sports model, we’re understaffed as it is, they’re not going to take a close look at the paperwork. And anyway, it’ll be more effective in chases. I’ll be a better detective._

 _And I really want a Coupris Kineema,_ he conceded to himself, and signed the form.

“You should be damn glad it didn’t crumple like a tin can,” says Dominic, “And that it has good seatbelts. Or you would’ve gone through the windshield and I’d have a smear of bloody pulp on a wall instead of a partner.”

“But I didn’t,” says Kim. “You’re in safe hands.”

“Sure,” says Dominic sarcastically, but he smiles.

After Kim shakes the adrenaline jitters out of his system and gets back in the Kineema, he finds that the steering is a little unaligned, but it’s nothing he can’t fix with a little fine-tuning after his shift.

The Coupris Kineema is a _good_ motor carriage.

\--

YOU – The drive is smoother on the sea ice, but in a way that makes you constantly terrified of breaking through. You still don’t *remember* crashing your own vehicle, but you can apparently have PTSD from things you don’t remember, because you’re shaking like a leaf.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Trivial: Success] – Or it’s the concussion. You probably have a concussion.

PERCEPTION – Ahead of you, the Fevre swerves a little too far. It nicks a low stone wall, denting the side of the vehicle. A thick black smoke begins to billow out.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Now we’ve got them,” says Kim. You thought he couldn’t go any faster, but he presses down further on the gas, and the Kineema obediently accelerates.

YOU – You’re pretty sure you’re past the point of producing any sound more coherent than a terrified moan, so you press yourself against the seat and try to move as little as possible.

PERCEPTION – The winding of the Kineema around obstacles makes your stomach drop a few more times, but then finally, mercifully, it begins to slow.

YOU – “…Did we catch them, Kim?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “They’re stopping. Must be a problem with the engine – it’s smoking like crazy.”

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] – His voice has returned to its usual calm tone, but you can hear the restrained energy beneath it. He sounds almost disappointed, like he’s trying to rein in the excitement of the chase.

YOU – “Well, that’s a relief.”

KIM KITSURAGI – Kim doesn’t respond, but he does reach over and snap off the radio, as if only just realizing that it’s been playing all this time.

KIM KITSURAGI – After a moment, he says, “How are you feeling?”

PAIN THRESHOLD – LIKE YOU’VE BEEN RUN OVER BY A LORRY.

YOU – “I’ve been better. But I’ve also been worse.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Understandable.” He pulls the Kineema up to the smoking Fevre, turns off the engine, and opens the door.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Stay in here, detective. You’re already hurt, and I don’t want you in any more danger.” He gets out and closes the door behind him.

YOU – You sit still in the backseat of the Kineema, dazed and reeling. You’re concussed, you’ve just been in a very aggressive vehicular chase, and you’re pretty sure you just discovered you’re in love with your partner.

YOU – So what’s next for the great Harrier Du Bois?

PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] – You hear a shout from outside.

REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Success] – You look out the window just in time to see Kim, pointing his gun, snatch your ID out of Fuckup’s hands. With both of Kim’s hands full, however, the driver of the Fevre sees her chance to kick him in the shin, and she does so. As he doubles over from the impact of the steel-toed boots, she and Fuckup sprint away.

VOLITION [Medium: Failure] – You do not get out and chase them. You sit where you are, steeped in pain, exhaustion and confusion, and you wait for Kim to slowly unfold and get back in the car.

KIM KITSURAGI – He slides into the front seat and exhales. The two of you sit in silence for a moment, considering.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Well, I got your ID back.” He turns and extends it to you. You notice a spot of blood on his gloves as you take it.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] – Your fingers brush and your heart thumps.

YOU – “Thanks, Kim. This means a lot.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He nods. He is still half-turned in the driver’s seat, facing you. He looks disappointed, but you can still sense the remnants of adrenaline dancing within him, just under the skin.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Not a successful arrest though. I wasn’t paying attention to the driver.”

YOU – “I should have gotten out to help.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He looks you up and down, his eyebrow telling you what he thinks of that idea. “In your condition?”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Trivial: Success] – He’s right. Fuckup could’ve put his fist through you as easily as through a wet paper bag.

YOU – “Do you think we should go after them?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Not right now, anyway.” He pats the steering wheel ruefully. “I don’t think the Kineema can navigate the fishing village as well as they can on foot, and you shouldn’t be running anywhere. Besides, we have a murder to solve, and we’re already searching for one suspect out here. I’m not sure this is the most important thing on our plate.”

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] – He *doesn’t* think pursuing Fuckup is the most professional choice to make – but he *really* wants to do it.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] – Kim can’t argue in favor of going after Fuckup and the driver. However, you’re already a certified crazy cop. *You* can make the call, act like you’re convincing him, and he’ll go along with it.

YOU – “I don’t know, Kim. It can’t be safe having criminals roaming the streets of Martinaise while we’re trying to solve the case.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He looks sharply at you.

YOU – “Plus, like you said, we’re already searching this area already. Besides, what if the SKULLS had a hand in Lely’s death somehow? We can’t rule that out without talking to them. It can’t hurt *that* much to dedicate a day or two to this stereo-investigation and make sure we’re not in danger with every step we take.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He gives a slight nod.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] – He knows what you’re doing, and he’s going along with it. He’s played the professional role for long enough; he knows how to get around its restrictions. Often, that means pretending to be swayed by your crazier, wilder partner.

YOU – “Really, it would be negligent *not* to track them down and arrest them. They stole my official ID and attacked us both. That’s enough to lock them up for a while, somewhere far from here.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He gives you a partial smile. “Okay-okay, Harry, that makes sense.”

SUGGESTION – Yes! Hook, line, and sinker.

ESPRIT DE CORPS – He *let* you convince him, remember.

SUGGESTION – Nope, it was all you. Hook, line, and sinker, baby.

KIM KITSURAGI – His gaze lingers on your face, a small smile on his lips, for another moment before he looks away. Once he does, he is quickly composed again.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Khm. Are you okay to walk, detective?”

YOU – “I’m feeling a little less like a spinning top, sure. Why?”

KIM KITSURAGI – He smiles again, ruefully this time. “I can drive us back to the canal, but then we’re going to have to get back to the Whirling on foot and see if the cafeteria manager will lend us a winch for the Kineema. My decisions earlier might have been…a little reckless.”

YOU – “I’m rubbing off on you, huh?”

YOU – You wink. Horribly.

KIM KITSURAGI – He doesn’t look bothered; in fact, he looks amused. “Maybe so. I’m not entirely convinced it’s a bad thing.”

\--

Kim isn’t sure he’s ever stayed this late at Precinct 57’s office, not even when he was a brand-new detective and regularly worked long overtime hours to prove himself. But the Kineema, although still functioning, is bashed up from the day’s activities, and he wants to get it in working order before he leaves for the night. His eyes have already begun to drift shut a couple of times, and his body is beginning to ache as the adrenaline truly wears off, but it should only be a few more minutes before he has everything back in shape. Kim stifles a yawn and is about to slide back under the body of the carriage when he hears the door to the Precinct garage open.

A slice of yellow light enters the room. Kim squints against it, pushing his glasses up on his nose as he stiffly pulls himself into a sitting position. Although he has taken off his jacket and laid it on the floor as a cushion, the concrete is still hard on his aching muscles.

“Kitsuragi? What are you doing in here?” The voice belongs to Dominic Vardonne. Kim appreciates that his partner is one of the few people in the precinct who calls him by his given name, and not ‘Kimball’ or ‘Pinball Kitsuragi’.

Kim sets his wrench down and stands, leaning against the Kineema’s side. “Fixing things up. This one took a beating earlier today.” He pats the motor carriage lovingly.

Dominic laughs. “You’re a maniac. It’s late, and you lost consciousness earlier today. Shouldn’t you be resting?”

Kim shrugs. “This is what I wanted to do.”

“Well,” says Dominic, “Wanna take a break, at least? I have smokes.” He slides a carton of cigarettes out of his front pocket and waves it in Kim’s direction.

Kim has never been one for carnal vices, especially not of the addictive variety. He did pick up a smoking habit a few years ago, when he was deep in the undercover work and nicotine was the most innocuous drug he could conspicuously consume in front of other gang members. Since then he’s cut himself off cold turkey and been doing damn well at it.

But he’s tired, and he’s hurting, and _god_ he wants a smoke.

 _Just one, Kitsuragi. You can have_ one _cigarette. It’s for the sake of camaraderie, after all – you need to bond with your partner._

He climbs to his feet, feeling his knees creak as he does so. _Getting too old to be crashing motor carriages willy-nilly._

“Sure,” Kim says to his partner, extending a hand. With long, slender fingers, Dominic taps out a couple of cigarettes and hands one over.

The two of them walk outside, where Dominic also retrieves a lighter from his pocket and lights both of their cigarettes. They smoke in tired silence for a moment, the only light shed by a flickering streetlight nearby. The street is still, not so much as a breeze crossing the dirty pavement, and smoke hangs about their heads in a haze.

“So, earlier today. What got into you?” Dominic asks.

Kim chuckles. “Sorry about that. The new Kineema, the chase…it all kind of went to my head.”

“No, I don’t care about that. I mean, your driving was terrifying, but it’s all in a day’s work, right? Plenty in the RCM who’d have been even more risky.” He shrugs. “But when you hit the suspect’s vehicle? That was…not the sort of thing I expected from you.”

Kim takes a deep drag from his cigarette. As much as he hates to give in to old habits, it feels _good_ to smoke again.

He could do this. If he keeps himself in check. One cigarette a day can’t be that bad, right?

“What were you led to expect of me?” Kim asks after exhaling smoke into the night.

Dominic shrugs. “You’ve been nothing but professionalism since we started working together a few months ago. And despite all the ribbing around the precinct, there seems to be a general consensus that, you know…you’re kind of a stickler for rules.”

“Khm.”

Dominic looks at him. “Listen, I don’t mean it as anything bad. But you don’t chat around the coffeepot in the mornings and you don’t hit the bar at the end of the day. If you unwind at all, it’s in here, fixing your carriage by yourself. You do your job, and you do it well, but I didn’t think you had a daring bone in your body, to be honest. Brave, sure. But reckless? Not at all.”

“I apologize for my…wild actions today, lieutenant.”

“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying at all.” Dominic points with his cigarette, the ember on the end of it glinting like a single red eye. “You surprised me today, Kitsuragi. I was _impressed_.”

Kim blinks.

“And don’t be offended, but you can seriously drop the _lieutenant_ shtick. Call me Dominic, or Vardonne if you have to. But we’re partners, and we should act like it. We’re not strangers.”

Kim inhales acrid smoke, savors it, and exhales.

“Then you can call me Kim,” he says, making a sudden decision. “It’s only right. As partners, of course.”

“Sure, Kim,” says Dominic, and a broad smile spreads across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another amazing animation by Pale-ale [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcSnP5vm4Us)! it's of the car chase :D  
> i love you guys, thanks for continuing to stick with this!! as you can see, we are. we are gettin in there now  
> more soon!


	5. The RCM Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Kim walk back to the Whirling-in-Rags, and along the way, Harry learns more about Kim's old partner.

YOU – The walk back to the Whirling-in-Rags is, if painful, at least somewhat stabilizing. The cold night air seems to slightly soothe the pulsing pain in your head, and after about fifteen minutes, you’re even able to conquer the deep pit of nausea in your stomach. So, probably concussed, but you’ll recover. You’ll be back on the case tomorrow.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Failure] - You won't be in peak condition, though. The air *slightly* soothes the pain in your head. Key word *slightly*.

DRAMA [Trivial: Success] – Something is still nagging at you, sire.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - After the encounter with Fuckup and the other SKULL, you've been wondering about Kim's past again. It doesn't all add up. There must be more to the story.

DRAMA - It's quite a tale, but not all the threads tie together at the end, my lord.

YOU – “Kim?”

RHETORIC [Easy: Failure] – You have *got* to find a better way of starting conversations with him. It’s “Kim” this, “Kim” that, every five seconds with you.

EMPATHY [Formidable: Failure] – Does he like the sound of his name in your mouth, like you do when he calls you Harry? Does it make the space between you seem warmer? You have no way of knowing – his face is a blank slate.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Yes, detective?”

YOU – “In the light of recent events, I was wondering…Is there more to what happened with the pinball ring?”

REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] – His eyes flicker away.

DRAMA – Suspicious, my lord.

KIM KITSURAGI – “…Nothing that is relevant, no.”

DRAMA [Easy: Success] – A filthy lie. The honorable Sir Kitsuragi’s background is more checkered than he’d like to let on.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – Or he just doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it.

YOU – “Alright.”

EMPATHY – He’s not expecting you to back off so easily. The human can opener giving up on his quarry?

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] – He appreciates you respecting his boundaries. A good strategy: now he’ll open up on another topic.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Khm. Well.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS – What is the one consistent element in an RCM officer’s past? Their partner. Kim has mentioned him before, the “Eyes” who occasionally guided him. Ask about that.

EMPATHY – After all, you want to know all there is to know about Kim Kitsuragi.

YOU – “So, while we have a long walk back…Can I ask you something else?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Maybe. Depends on what you’re asking.” He raises one eyebrow slightly.

YOU – “What was your previous partner like?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] – Far away, on another snowy street, in a different frozen city, an officer stands on a curb. Their hands shake and tears stream down their cheeks. There is shattered glass on the ground and a gun, unloaded, in their hands. Other officers move around them, but they are an island, surrounded by the ocean of their grief. Inside the house behind them is something terrible. Inside the house is a scene they will never forget.

EMPATHY [Heroic: Success] – Kim Kitsuragi has felt that way before.

REACTION SPEED – You see it flash across his face, a tragedy written in micro-expressions. The lips purse, slightly. Eyebrows crease. He tilts his head, and his glasses turn opaque, two moonlit circles in the dark. Then he exhales, breath clouding the night air, and everything is normal again.

KIM KITSURAGI – “My partner. Yes.”

YOU – “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m sorry if I keep bringing up terrible memories for you.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “No, it’s alright.” He is quiet for a moment, the sound of your feet on the pavement the only sound. “It’s…probably good to talk about these things. Rather than bottle them up.”

KIM KITSURAGI – A slight smile crosses his face. “You’ve certainly gotten more out of me than anyone else in the past five years. Human can opener, indeed.”

EMPATHY – He doesn’t mean it in a bad way.

KIM KITSURAGI – “I’ve been thinking about Dominic a lot over the past few days. After what I already told you…I guess it made me introspective.” He looks at you. “I don’t like to dwell on the past, normally. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

COMPOSURE [Challenging: Failure] – Yes. You want to hear everything he has to say, forever. A fierce upwelling of emotion threatens to burst within you. If you’re not careful, Harry, you’ll confess right here.

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] – And then you’ll lose him. Don’t do it, keep it inside. You have so much at risk – don’t drive him away!

VOLITION [Easy: Success] – Speak. Take the leap.

YOU – “Of course I want to hear it, Kim. It’s about *you*.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He blinks, eyes widening slightly. “Oh.”

COMPOSURE [Heroic: Failure] – WHAT IS HE THINKING WHAT IS HE THINKING YOU WENT TOO FAR WITH THAT ONE –

KIM KITSURAGI – He ducks his head.

EMPATHY – Embarrassed??

KIM KITSURAGI – “That’s…very nice of you to say.”

PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] – The tips of his ears…are they…reddening?

KIM KITSURAGI – Pulling himself together, he makes himself look directly at you. Other than his ears, he looks as composed as always, a model of RCM professionalism. But is there a glimmer in his eye? The hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth?

KIM KITSURAGI – “You always surprise me, Harry.”

COMPOSURE [Godly: Failure] – Your heart seizes in your chest. He’s smiling at you now. You are basked in otherworldly warmth.

YOU – “Hrk – ” You clutch your chest.

PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Failure] – This is it. You are dying.

KIM KITSURAGI – He steps quickly over to you, one hand on your back and another on your shoulder. “Are you alright?”

YOU – “Yes – I’m just – ”

EMPATHY – YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

HALF LIGHT – WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN HE LEAVES YOU?

YOU – “…Uh, choking. On air.”

EMPATHY – Congratulations, you’ve baffled him.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Are you…quite sure the concussion is improving?”

COMPOSURE [Legendary: Success] – Pull yourself together.

YOU – You stand up a little straighter and pat his hand with one of yours. “Yep, I’m actually fine. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m prone to sudden pains that can be caused by something as small as a bad thought. It’s because I’m emotionally and physically fragile. But don’t worry about that – everything is totally okay now.”

KIM KITSURAGI – “That’s not particularly reassuring.” He gives you a wry look. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] – He is still holding you, as if expecting you to fall over. The pressure of his hands occupies your mind.

YOU – “Yep, nothing to worry about. Totally fine.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He snorts slightly and pulls away from you. “If you say so. Like I said – full of surprises.”

ENDURANCE [Medium: Success] – You have some distance to go before the Whirling, and your head still hurts with each step. Take it slow. No more lovestruck heart attacks.

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant walks slowly out of consideration for your injury. Since rushing to your side, he has closed the distance between you, and you now walk close together, your arms almost brushing. His hands are folded behind his back as he looks resolutely ahead, but his eyes look distant. They gaze into a past that you can only guess at.

EMPATHY – You want to take his hand. You want to make everything alright.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] – You can’t make everything alright. What he’s about to tell you happened a long time ago.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Eventually, I’ll be out of sob stories for you to hear.” He is trying to joke, but his voice is a little flat. “For now…Let me tell you about Dominic.”

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] – A chill leaches up through the soles of your shoes from the frozen cobbles. It brings you out of your aching body and into the moment, Kim’s voice a soft murmur, his presence a warmth by your side. Above you, the buildings of Martinaise lean in as if to hear, their splintered wood and stone desperate for human attention.

YOU – And further out?

SHIVERS – The lights are on at the Whirling. Lawrence Garte is cleaning up shattered glass, muttering epithets to himself about bad customers. The building emits a soft glow into the night; its neighbors have already packed up and gone to sleep, their doors closed, their occupants dreaming softly.

YOU – And above?

SHIVERS – A harsh wind blows over rooftops and along scraggly treetops. Pieces of scrap metal jingle like chimes as they are pushed into one another. Higher up, water vapor roils, ready to condense into cold, hard droplets.

YOU – And below?

SHIVERS – Beneath the pavement, soil. It is full of wriggling life, the kind that will go on without you when you are gone. Beneath the soil, rock, as sturdy as you wish you could be. The isola continues.

YOU – Come back to the moment.

SHIVERS – You clasp your hands together, and the momentary warmth grounds you. You rejoin your aching head and chilled bones: it’s time to be a person again. Beside you, Kim continues in his narrative, the story unspooling from between his teeth as though it cannot be stopped. Your presence is only as a vessel to catch the words – your input is unimportant. He is emptying himself of something long held within.

\--

REVACHOL.

’47.

Kim is dreaming of sharp objects and the flash and rattle of pinball machines. There is a firefight going on around him, but he is unable to pull his hands from the controls. It goes on, the mechanical clack of the flippers, the bounce of the ball as it shoots up the incline and is dragged back down by gravity. Just outside of his field of vision, he hears Ratter’s voice, and when he turns to look he is no longer pressing a button but instead holding a gun, and there is a tremendous sound –

He wakes to a knock on his door.

Kim swings his legs out of bed and braces himself against the mattress for a moment, shoulders hunched. He never used to have nightmares – prided himself on divorcing his emotions from the work, actually – so for the last year these interruptions to his sleep have been…troubling. He has considered seeing the lazareth, but he has also seen his fellow officers huddled around the station coffee pot every morning, dark bags under their eyes proclaiming the same affliction. It is impossible to fully compartmentalize. He supposes that the emotional trauma simply comes with the job.

The knock on the door comes again, harder, and Kim sighs. He stands, pulling on a pair of pants from within his wardrobe, and moves quickly in the direction of the entrance. Before he gets there, a third knock breaks the silence of the apartment again, loud and demanding.

Kim peers through the peephole before opening the door. On the other side is Dominic, face red, one fist raised for a fourth knock.

Kim pulls back, undoes the chain, and opens the door.

“Heyyy, partner,” slurs Dominic, falling halfway inside. He has a lit cigarette in one hand, which Kim has to dodge as the ember swings dangerously in his direction.

 _He’s drunk,_ Kim thinks with a dull shock, and then, seeing Dominic’s huge pupils and the way his cheek twitches: _No, not drunk. Drugged up._

It is an unpleasant surprise, but he doesn’t have time to consider it: Dominic stumbles into the apartment, and Kim closes the door, quickly, hurrying after him.

“Nice place you got here, huh?” Dominic laughs, waving his cigarette. A small part of Kim’s brain perks up at the thought of nicotine, and another part notes that the smoke smell will be impossible to get out of the walls. “Kinda _boring_ though, right? You ever party, Kim? No tape player in here, even.”

Kim watches Dominic’s flailing limbs for a moment, then snatches the cigarette from his hand and drops it into the sink.

“Hey!” Dominic yells.

“What are you doing here?” asks Kim, the situation robbing him of his usual poise. “What are you doing _like this?_ ”

For a moment, Dominic seems almost to focus on him. He runs a hand through his dark hair, mussing it even further. “Shit, you didn’t know?”

“Didn’t know what? That you were an addict?” It comes out harsher than Kim intended, but the drugs must soften the blow for Dominic, who doesn’t seem to mind.

“We’re _all_ addicts,” he replies, jabbing a finger into Kim’s chest. “Just addicted to different stuff. I’ve seen you w’that notebook, writing like your life depends on it – you’re addicted to the _work._ But I’ve also seen you with a cigarette. You could get used to this, too. Finally unwind, huh? You’re tighter’n a spring.”

“Dominic, we are _the police._ You can’t just – ” Kim gestures, unsure how to encapsulate how wrong this all is. “How did you even know where I lived?”

“Drove you home once, remember? When you were busted up from the crash. Anyway, there’s plenty’a secrets around the station that you don’t know about. We all got our vices – we gotta, in our line of work. Only way to stay sane.” Dominic slumps against the kitchen counter, abruptly looking exhausted. “Listen, I’m not up to explaining this. Thought you might wanna party, is all.”

“What?”

“Here.” He fishes in his pocket, producing a small bag. There are three white tablets in it. “Take one, it’s your first time. I saw you lookin’ messed up after today – that dead woman and all. This’ll calm you down. Let you sleep.”

“I’m not taking _drugs_ from you, officer.” Kim’s voice comes out cold and hard. This is too much. He feels like he’s still in a nightmare, but the clock points to the correct hour on the wall, and the detail is too real (the way Dominic’s breath heaves, the sweat on his temple). It’s happening, and he can worry about what this means later, but right now he has to deal with it.

He takes the baggie out of Dominic’s hand and slips it into his pocket.

“Savin’ it for later?” Dominic asks. His voice is becoming less coherent, and his eyelids are beginning to droop. _Good,_ Kim thinks, _he can sleep it off._

“Yes,” Kim says, “I’m not ready for this tonight. Do you want to sleep here?”

“Nah.” Dominic waves a hand. “I can go home if you’re not interested. Jus’ thought it might help.”

“Go home? Don’t you live by the station?”

“Sure, I’m parked just outside.”

“You _drove_ here?”

Dominic nods, then yawns hugely. He sits down on Kim’s couch, the only seating in the living room aside from one stool that abuts the kitchen counter. “Maybe you’re right, though…It is gettin’ late…”

Kim stands stock still, thinking about the homes that Dominic drove past on his way here, the pedestrians put in harm’s way by his erratically weaving motor carriage. The pure luck that it took for no one to cross a street in front of him, for no distractions to pull his scattered attention from the road. How often does Dominic do this? How often does he flout his duty to keep the citizens of the GRIH safe? Kim’s head begins to buzz with a thick, heady feeling. It’s anger, he realizes. No, more than that. It’s fury.

“Dominic – ” Kim says, voice low and intense, turning his attention back to his partner – but the man is asleep on his couch. His head tilts back, mouth slightly open, looking vulnerable and so tired.

Kim stares at him, fists clenched, shaking slightly. He is aware of something rising within him that he didn’t even know was there. It is a large, looming feeling, the same one that sometimes woke him in the night when he was thirty-seven and still a juvenile cop, and then when he was thirty-eight and ridiculed at work, called names – and now when he is thirty-nine and the person he trusted to always have his back, to believe in the same system of justice that he does, the only one that Revachol has, lies in a soporific stupor on his sofa.

It is _love,_ he realizes, fierce and intense and personal. Not a love for Dominic, or for any of the men he’s been with romantically. It is a love for Revachol, for his city. Despite all of its flaws, and the beliefs of its people, and the scorn he often receives within its walls, it is where he _belongs._ He wants so strongly to believe in Revachol, to make it better in any small way, that it hurts him when others don’t feel the same. And Kim Kitsuragi is _good_ at bottling up his feelings, in fact he is an _expert_ at it, but eventually all glass vessels break.

Every system of government has already failed in Revachol. Perhaps every system of justice is destined to fail as well.

Kim goes outside and smokes every cigarette in his pack. Then he flushes Dominic’s drugs, lies down in bed, and stares at the ceiling for the rest of the night.

\--

WHIRLING-IN-RAGS – You stand outside the illuminated front door of the building. Kim finished speaking about a minute ago, and you haven’t been able to muster anything to say. All manner of feelings surge within you, threatening to drown you in their depths.

HALF LIGHT [Easy: Success] – This is why he will leave you. He’s already had one junkie partner. He’s not going to put up with another.

PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] – Kim’s head is down. The upper pane of the illuminated door frames his head like he is the central figure on a postcard.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Trivial: Success] – Or like a painted window in a church.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Thank you for listening. I understand that it’s…hard to hear.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He pauses. “Especially for someone in your situation.”

PAIN THRESHOLD [Challenging: Failure] – Your chest twinges, and the world seems to darken for a moment.

SUGGESTION [Formidable: Failure] – There is no way you convince him that this doesn’t end the same way.

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] – With you on a couch, drugged out of your mind. Kim picking up the pieces of your shattered life. He will pick them up again and again until his hands are cut and bleeding.

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] – You can’t do that to him.

YOU – “Listen, Kim. I understand if you…”

ENDURANCE [Medium: Failure] – Crushed by the pain of continuing, you trail off like the pathetic worm you are.

KIM KITSURAGI – “If I what?”

YOU – “…If you don’t want to go through that again. I know that I’m. You know. Worse than him. Obviously you ended your partnership with Dominic, so I understand if you. Well.”

COMPOSURE [Legendary: Failure] – Do not cry!

PAIN THRESHOLD [Legendary: Failure] – But the idea of never seeing Kim again – it hurts worse than anything.

YOU – Start crying.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Trivial: Success] – You are roused from your pathetic tears by a hand on your shoulder.

KIM KITSURAGI – “That’s not what happened, Harry. And that’s not why I’m telling you this.”

YOU – “Huh?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “You’re a good detective, and more than that, I think you really are a good person. You just don’t know it.”

KIM KITSURAGI – He takes a deep breath, his hand still on your shoulder. “I’ll be honest, Harry, it’s hard for me to watch you destroy yourself like he did. But at the end of the day…It’s none of my business what you do to keep yourself sane in this job. Apparently, everyone has something.”

EMPATHY [Heroic: Success] – He looks away, thinking of illegal races and burning rubber in the middle of the night.

YOU – “I have *you*, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI – His gaze flashes back to you.

REACTION SPEED [Legendary: Success] – Is that a hitch in his breath?

DRAMA [Medium: Success] – He’s listening, sire.

YOU – You look slightly down at him. This gap between you could so easily tear the two of you apart. It is full of your history and his, two sharp-edged narratives that don’t mesh so much as clash.

EMPATHY – But you love him, Harry. This time, *please*, do better.

PAIN THRESHOLD – Don’t make him leave you.

YOU – You reach out and pull Kim into a hug.

PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] – The lines of his body are stiff against yours.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] – His frame is smaller than yours, but wiry, the muscles toned instead of atrophied.

EMPATHY – Hold him here forever.

KIM KITSURAGI – After a moment of surprise, he relaxes a bit. Then, tentatively, like light rain on snow, his hands come to rest on your back. His arms, wrapped around you, are two tethers to reality.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] – You would do *anything* for him.

KIM KITSURAGI – “…Harry?”

YOU – In a choked up voice, you reply, “Yeah?”

KIM KITSURAGI – “Your tears are falling on my head.” You can tell from the tone of his voice that he’s smiling.

YOU – “Oh, fuck, sorry – ”

KIM KITSURAGI – The lieutenant nearly stumbles as you practically shove him away from you. He catches himself on the side of the building and laughs, running a hand through his hair.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Easy: Success] – His laugh is still the best thing you’ve ever heard.

KIM KITSURAGI – “I know I need a shower, but perhaps not one quite so…salty.”

SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] – He’s joking with you! That was a joke! Maybe you’re *just* cool enough to stay with him.

DRAMA [Medium: Failure] – Or he’s taking pity on you, sire.

KIM KITSURAGI – “It’s late, and I need to ask inside about winching the Kineema over the canal. Do you think the rest of this discussion can wait until tomorrow?”

YOU – You nod, sniffling.

KIM KITSURAGI – He walks over, puts his hands on both your shoulders, and looks you directly in the eye. He’s smiling.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Harry. Stop worrying. I’m not going to quit being your partner. We have a case to solve here…And many, many stereo-investigations. I need you with me, okay?”

YOU – You nod again. It’s all you can manage.

KIM KITSURAGI – “Good night, Harry.”

YOU – “Good night, Kim.”

PERCEPTION – You watch him enter the building, the door swinging shut behind him.

PAIN THRESHOLD – You realize that the whole time Kim was speaking, your head didn’t hurt at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for continuing to read...i love you all!!!


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